You know how you experience something painful in your life but over time the painful memories fade?
Well, four times in the last few days I’ve relived the crushing, 1980s style, degradation of receiving rejection slips for my fiction
And I don’t even submit to magazines anymore.
Way back then I used to clown around, trying to hide the pain with the following: “Hey, I’m a great writer. I’ve received
rejection slips from some of America’s finest magazines.”
And now to that age old admonition I can add…Kindles Singles.
Four times, four submissions, four short stories, all submitted, by me, to that special facet of the Amazon marketing, algorithm, juggernaut, Kindles Singles.
I’d already picked out the new Jaguar I intended to buy when the sales commissions started rolling in.
Not to be. Because all I got for my time, trouble, effort, toil, blood, sweat…well, you get the picture. All I got was an e-mail from a Kindles Singles editorial assistant screaming, “YOUR FUCKING STORY SUCKS!”
Actually, that’s not quite true. This is what the e-mail said.
Our editors have carefully reviewed your recent submission, and it has not been selected for inclusion in the Kindle Singles store. Thank you very much for giving us the opportunity to consider it.
You're welcome to publish your work via Kindle Direct Publishing at kdp.amazon.com. For information on how to do this, visit:
If you already have done so, your work will remain for sale in the Kindle Store.
Again, thank you for your interest in Kindle Singles.
Associate Editor, Kindle Singles
Some people might discern major differences between the text of the Kindles Singles e-mail and my earlier paraphrase of said. But honestly, I’m not a twenty-something, anymore. I know how to read between the lines. I think.
The thing is, my first submission to Kindles Singles took more than three weeks to be rejected. My most recent submission took three days to achieve the same result.
And the question remains. Am I getting better or am I getting worse?
So what does a writer do when hit over the head with a skull cracking, ego destroying, depression inducing reject slip?
The writer gets back to work on another story. Because a rejection slip from an editor is like a rejection for dinner and a movie from the Homecoming Queen.
You just keep asking until you wear her down and get a, “If I say yes, will you stop pestering me?” acceptance.
All those decades ago my great mission was to break through the plaster walls surrounding the editorial desks of the Ben Bovas and Stanley Schmidts of the magazine world.
Now my great mission is to break through the electron wall surrounding the editorial desk of David Blum.
Hey, I’m a great writer. I’ve received rejection slips from some of America’s finest magazines. And Kindles Singles, too…bitch!